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Shabbat is for many a beautiful vacation from the demands of the week. Like any vacation, it creates a shift in orientation to the whole week. For some people, preparing for Shabbat starts with avoiding late-afternoon appointments on Friday and trying to be home early.
Shabbat creates a deadline for finishing up things, for example, getting the house clean, making sure that essential errands have been run, and that challah, wine, and flowers have been purchased. A traditional analogy compares making Shabbat with inviting a Queen to your home for dinner. In other words, if Queen Elizabeth of England were coming over for the day, you would probably run the vacuum, take out the good china, and fuss over the dinner menu. Well in many ways one greater then Queen Elizabeth is coming to dinner; namely, the Sabbath Queen herself. Shabbat is compared esoterically to a bride given to us by God, whom we long for her arrival - (source: Talmud Shabbat 119a).
The rituals of Shabbat reinforce family and communal bonds. Shabbat meals are family affairs, prescribing times for families to be together without the distraction of competing schedules or technologies.
Although Jewish law calls for three "feasts" (these 3 meals were originally called "the Lord's Supper) on Shabbat to ensure a sense of celebration, it also forbids for the Jewish people the lighting of fires, which traditionally means no cooking. Thus the biggest job of preparing for Shabbat tends to be food preparation. Although many Jews do cook on Shabbat, preparing even part of Saturday's meals in advance can create more time for relaxing, resting, and playing.
Historically, Friday night dinner has always been the gustatory highlight of the week for Jews, no matter what their financial circumstances. Making this Friday night meal special does not necessarily mean making it elaborate or conforming to the chicken soup and brisket menus of Eastern Europe. Remember it can be simple things done only on this night and not on other nights that fulfills the Commandment to "remember" and "observe" the Sabbath that we find in the Hebrew Scriptures. Some people find that "lighting the candles" or "making the same special meal every Friday night" allows them to sanctify this time like no other night and besides it has advantages; not only is it easier for the cook, it also reinforces the soothing, repetitive ritual nature of the meal and establishes a family tradition. Understand that "this appointed time with God can be made special" by simple things like using a certain tablecloth and flowers on the dining room table which are not used on other nights. Special silverware that is not used on other nights. The recital of the Sabbath blessings again "sanctifies this time" to the exclusion of all other times and makes is "holy" thus fulfilling the Commandment to "remember" and "observe" this special day with God. Ritual objects such as an embroidered cover for the challah, special candlesticks used only for Sabbath, and special wine goblets will immediately make a meal an event and also "sanctifies" this time apart from all others. In such ways you have obeyed God and sanctified the Sabbath as commanded. You can make up your own traditions and in so doing fulfill this mitzvoth.
Shabbat releases us from the usual patterns of doing and being and celebrates the sensual, creative parts of us that may be sacrificed during the work week. Celebrating the sensual can be accomplished many ways. There are many ways to do this that are limitless; many simply just lower the lights, some take time to smell as well as taste food, other take time to simply stop and hug and kiss the people they love. In the rush to prepare home and table for Shabbat, it is easy to forget the importance of readying yourself. Nothing accomplishes the major shifting of gears from work to rest better than a hot shower or bath. If there is time, meditating, listening to music, and reading something that helps you get "in the mood" are also good ways to unwind. Even a few minutes to wash hands and face, shave, comb your hair, put on perfume, or change clothes can help. Some people get into the spirit of Shabbat by listening to speical cds and tapes of Shabbat music or other Jewish tapes and records. In fact it does not have to be Jewish music for as you are seeing the Sabbath is given to all mankind. My rule of thumb is do whatever brings you peace and promotes shalom with and within you!
Traditionally, one's best and/or new clothes are worn on Shabbat. However, if wearing a good dress or suit and tie are the trappings of work, a change into comfortable casual clothes might better facilitate a shift into Shabbat-mode. Some people put on the traditional skullcap (kippah in Hebrew, yarmulke in Yiddish) before beginning Friday night rituals. The choices are endless and there is not "right" or "wrong" thing to do here. Again....follow the shalom/peace.
Shabbat can easily become a focal point of anticipation and fun for children. Again the choices are endless. The celebration can begin with a baking session or a trip to the bakery for challah and other goodies. Setting the Shabbat table with children can be both a game and a reward, assigning special jobs to each child: candlesticks and candles for you, the kiddush cups for you because you're so grown up and responsible, and so on. Kids can also create Shabbat centerpieces of Legos, paper flowers or dandelions from the yard. Shabbat can inspire all sorts of arts and crafts projects. Because most small children love wearing hats, kippot (the plural of kippah) can be part of the fun. Some children collect them, and a "custom" kippah can be created with some felt, a little glue, and a plain rayon yarmulke. To make a Sabbath plate or set of dishes, apply Jewish symbols and lots of imagination to one of the melamine kits available in many toy stores.
Finally, when everything and everyone is ready, remove your watches. Empty your pockets. Unplug the phone for a while. You are going to a party. And remember, Shabbat is not a solemn occasion. Along with the candles, wine, and challah, smiles and laughter belong at the table.
